oh right.
omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon

and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there
and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza
and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door
so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens
demono
((”Not just pizza”))
((”but eternal damnation”))
Alternate theory: It wasn’t that the pizza guy couldn’t cross the line of salt himself.
He just saw the line of salt and assumed that it was the only thing keeping you and your brother in, and he didn’t want nothing to do with your demon asses
Alternate alternate theory: pizza man is a slug.
A commemorative comic about how my parents should’ve gotten a dog 24 years ago.
…Are there pictures of their dogs?
I would NEVER recommend something so legally ambiguous and clearly unethical. Which is why I’m sharing this widely. So you guys all know to never do such a thing. Ever. Because it would be bad. Make sure to reblog so others know not to ever do this very wrong thing. And definitely make sure you know what color the parking tickets in your city are. Maybe hold onto one for reference in case you ever worry that you might accidentally do this. Keep it in your car so you can look at it sometimes and say “It would be wrong to use this as a fake ticket to prevent getting a real ticket.”
Make sure that you don’t research what the color of tickets is in the place you are parking, such as safety orange for boston
here’s a comparison of me and my cat. his name is oliverbear (oliver for short). respect him
HE
IS
PERFECT


















